Oh why is it that I feel I have sinned
I have lusted over her,
with hips so wide.
There’s nowhere for me to hide
What sin is this?
What scale will it be measured by
God?
The lesbian
The sin

It’s just so damn confusing
Why does she have to possess perky breasts?
That make me drool and wet.
Why does she have to be so soft
and when she moves the wind sways towards her direction.
God
The lesbian
The sin

I converse with God every night
this is what he says:

“You are my daughter I love you with everything that I am,
I have said in my word I do not approve of your lust over other women,
I do not despise you,
I despise the demon in you.”

I do not mean to speak out of turn,
but
Why does she have to smile and make my insides shudder in fear?
Why does she have to have a posture so great I want to climb and do things to her?
Why am I so taken by her nakedness?
Everything sinfully winking at me to bite
Bite and touch,
Touch and caress,
Caress and penetrate,
Penetrate and cum,
Cum in floods,
Floods of ecstasy that no man has ever achieve.

I converse with the Devil after every lustful ordeal,
here’s what he says:
“God is telling you shit.
Fuck her,
Love her,
Lust over her,
Do whatever you feel is right and pleasure yourself.
Indulge in this for the greatest sin would be to deny yourself what God has allowed,
this is no sin it simply is happiness.
He wants you to be happy right?
So he says, “I want you to live freely with no rules after all my lesbian,
the Bible is full of threats and blackmail.”

Oh but why does it hurt when I disobey my Creator?
How can you say such,
I don’t know if you are to be listened to.
I wonder if you deserve any of my attention
but you make so much sense
God
The lesbian
The sin

Why does she have to moan in bliss?
Why are her eyes so inviting?
Almost like windows that peep through her soul.
Her curvy chubby body does things to me,
that are incomprehensible to any scribe.

I spoke to the lesbian after the mind blowing sex she had
But why do you do this?
What is it about women that draw you in?
Do you believe you are possessed by a demon, so sexy and fatal?
Here’s what the Lesbian said:
“But I have tried for so many years to suppress these feelings,
I went out with guys,
I slept with them,
I had babies with them,
Hell I married three of them,
but the feeling wouldn’t go away.
My first husband was addicted to sex.
He fucked me all the time and it pained me so much.
Well, the second one was an intellectual
always reading but wanted a big family
so once or twice a month we would have sex
all the while shooting for a baby.
Third one was a slob but abusive, drinks, pees and farts.
That was when I knew I had to go get my women.
See the crux is.
If it is so wrong why then does it feel so damn good to me?
Why am I happy for the first time in my life?”
Oh how awful.
Perhaps you need more prayers,
fast and listen to God.
Why does her skin glow,
blinding my beliefs and my traditions?
Her lips glistening with red lipstick
that is like the insides of her womanhood,
so refreshing and edible.
Why does she have to be so gentle and subtle?

Her stiletto walk makes a sound that directs me to the bedroom
where she lays bare for me to see.

Her perfume lures me.
I lose sense of reality.
This all here is holy.
Where angels refuse to tread
in case they catch site of this and fall into sin.

Is it pure magic, or an illusion?
It is poetry and art.
Skin so pale,
I need to touch it with my lips and gifted hands to breathe
and sink life into it.
Pure bliss.
Words cannot do any justice into this masterpiece.
Head spinning like a top.
I feel my blood clotting
the heart is in joy.
The head comes up with nothing
The eyes bare witness
to one of the most beautiful women
to grace mother earth.

I’ll pray hard.
Live slow.
Maybe repent.
Dance gently.
Meditate.

This is, oh so Godly.
All so lesbian.
and perhaps a sin.
God.
The lesbian
The sin.

I pray
I choose the latter.

by Thulielove Gifted Hands Sodumo

© 20 Aug 2012

Previous by Thulielove

2013 Sept. 11: The touch

and

  2013 June 11: Double Trouble


and

2013 April 3: Reflecting on InterSexions

and

2013 April 4: Gender blind

Photos by Lebo Ntladi (08.11.2013)
Where: Uncle Tom Hall, Soweto. Johanneburg
What: Miss Gay Soweto Semi-finals
Finals to be held on the 7th Dec. 2013 at Soweto Theatre.

About the photographer

Kelebogile Ntladi was born in Soweto and raised on the East of Johannesburg.
Lebo was schooled and matriculated at Dominican Convent School in Belgravia in 2006, went to Cape Town to pursue studies in Fine Arts at Cape College.
Cape Town became a space of exploration and insight into the art world, introduced to Zanele Muholi and the Gugulective collective of visual artists. Upon return to Johannesburg in 2010.
Lebo volunteered at Keleketla library as a photographer which inspired studies in Photography at the Market Photo Workshop in 2012. Here the interest in social documentary and portrait photography and started taking shape.
After her studies she worked with Inkanyiso, a queer media organization based in Johannesburg.

Lebo was interested in creating social change through art.
In 2013 started working with a human rights Queer Visual Media Organization based in Johannesburg, called Iranti-Org. Lebo participated in group shows at the Market Photo Workshop.

Her photographic body of work titled “Split Halves’ was on show at the University of Johannesburg in September 2013.
The show will move to Cape Town in February at Michaelis, University of Cape Town, where her new body of work ‘Umshini Wam’ will be on show before her first solo exhibition in Cape Town in March 2014 at 6 Spin Street Gallery.
Lebo is currently based in Johannesburg.

by Lerato Dumse

Wearing our Sunday best, with bags filled with cameras, recorders, notebooks, tripods and equipment batteries fully charged, we left home ready to work.
The destination was Kyalami Theatre on the Track, where the 5^th Annual Feather awards took place on the 14^th of November 2013.

The event was scheduled to start at 7pm but many guests took full advantage of African time.
Others were excited strutting on the red carpet to have their photos taken by craving journalists who were pushing each other for the best celebrities’ shot.
That commotion delayed the starting time by more than an hour. South African celebrities and partners, some with friends were dressed elegantly, looking beautiful. Only those with invites were allowed.

The best hosts of the evening were Lalla and Stoan who kept the audience captivated…
Photos by Nqobile Zungu (14.11.2013)

Vuzu’s Lalla Hiyarama and Stoan Seate were the hosts for the evening and when he walked on stage wearing what looked like a speedo the audience unleashed wild screams of excited female and male voices. The pair reminded everyone that same sex marriage was legalised on this day back in 2006, making South Africa the only African country to recognise same sex marriage and the fifth in the world.

Founder of the awards is 28 year old Thami Kotlolo, born in Mamelodi in Tshwane (Pretoria).

“I started the awards due to my passion and interest in the entertainment industry and a need for more fun and funky awards” said Thami. When asked about the selection process of nominees and winners, he explained that they come up with five names which are given to the judges, mainly journalists who then select the most deserving.
“The recipients are not necessarily gay, it is the gay community giving a pat in the back to individuals who continue to empower the gay community in whichever industry they represent” he explained.
The active youth added that being broadcast on national TV results in the dialogue continuing and people will love the engagement.

The ceremony commenced with a spectacular performance by dance group Vintage Crew.
The awards provided a good dose of witty humour and a few awkward moments, which included presenter Akhumzi Jezile nominated in the Fag hag of the year category walking on stage. Pearl Thusi was announced as the winner instead of him and snatching the award before leaving the stage.

The ever confident Bujy Bikwa reminded everyone that, ‘it gets better’ after collecting his award for Socialite of the year.

Ms Tamara Dey’s performing act during the awards

Tamara Dey was wearing something that looked suspiciously like it was inspired by Lady Gaga, it hugged her bum or rather the area where her bum should have been. The song was a total flop, luckily the dancers and rapper Reason salvaged the situation. While trio, Kelly Khumalo, Brenda Mntambo and Thembisile Ntaka gave a heart-warming performance of Michael Jackson’s Earth song which got the audience on their feet.
The final performance was by KB Motsilanyane with her hit track ‘Rock Lefatshe.‘

Collecting her award for Diva extraordinaire, Gauteng Premier Nomvula Mokonyane said: “South Africa belongs to everyone who lives in it, including lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex (lgbti) people. Being given this award, is a sign of tolerance and a sign of respect for diversity. This token of appreciation is not for Nomvula as an individual, it’s for what I stand for and believe in” the audience erupted in loud applause.

Muholi’s acceptance speech…

The main award of the evening was Feather of the year which is presented to an individual whose work and actions have uplifted the gay and lesbian community. In receiving the award, photographer/ visual activist Zanele Muholi gave a two minute speech part of which said:
“Girls love girls and boys love boys. There is no need for people to be killed.
Just give us an opportunity to be visible, love each other, marry and not be discriminated against.”

Palesa Kadi, works in the communications and partnership department at the Film and Publications Board (fpb). They, together with Chevrolet sponsored the feather awards.
In an interview with Inkanyiso, Kadi discussed the campaign run by fpb on cyber safety.
“We have seen overtime that there are a lot of cases involving the gay and lesbian community. There’s a lot of vulnerability and sexting in the lesbian and gay community and when people breakup, their pictures are spread. We need spaces where we can find organized communities, if we talk one on one we are not going to make impact, here we are able to pass our message.”
When asked about the criteria for those looking for sponsorship she explained that they partner with people who have proved themselves, “this is our second year with the feathers in their five years of existence.”

Beverly Ditsie was like a child who has overdosed on sweets, her mood was jovial and she couldn’t keep still or contain her excitement.
Speaking in an eager tone she said “I love the feathers, it’s the one time in the year where there’s no politics involved. Almost every lgbti event has some politics involved.
Politics of pride and ‘who owns pride and this is black pride’ and I’m not disputing any of that. Pride went short left and this year it came back to short right, it’s very clear that we have issues and we are not addressing them. This is the one time were we don’t have to have any addressing of issues. We are here, looking fabulous to have a good time.”

Bev as she is affectionately known said receiving an award at the feathers last year was awesome. “I was very excited, nervous and humbled, all at the same time. When you go for so many years without any recognition for the work you’ve done. It becomes normal not to be called for anything. Now I’m seeing all these young people, awesome looking. When I was coming out at 17 years there were no visible lesbians. When we started the organization Glow in 1988 there was only one other black lesbian. Now when I see these young people visible, there’s a thick sense of pride and sometimes I look at them and it’s sad because they don’t know their history and the people who paved a way and laid the ground work.”

When asked what fellow comrade Simon Nkoli would have thought of the awards if he was still alive. She responds with confidence and a broad smile. “Simon was a typical queen, he would be laughing and screaming and calling everybody to say hello, just having a good time.
However, he would be heartbroken at the way things are in our broader LGBTI community.”

When all the formalities were done, people moved from the hall to the reception area where a serve yourself supper was available.
With stomachs full and drinks in hand from the open bar, and a Dj who knew his job.
Faces were full of smiles and people unleashing all sorts of dance moves with help from Johnny, Jameson, Captain Morgan, and many others.

List of winners

• Best styled female: Azania Mosaka
• Best styled male: Thapelo Mokoena
• Hunk of the year: Pallance Dladla
• Diva extraordinaire of the year: Premier Nomvula Mokonyane
• Sports Personality of the year: Lucas Sithole
• Role model of the year: Thulani Madondo
• Cutest couple: Mome & Tall Ass Mo
• Hot chick of the year: Nomzamo Mbatha
• Media of the year: After 9
• Fag hag of the year: Pearl Thusi
• Musician of the year: MiCasa
• Socialite of the year: Bujy Bikwa
• Drama queen of the year: Savita Mbuli
• Feather of the year: Zanele Muholi
   

Previous on 2012 Feather awards

2013 March 28: Feather Awards (re)viewed

… Seven (7) days later

Photos by Lebo Ntladi

It was in 2011 during their vacation in Cape Town when Nhlanhla Moremi made a promised to marry Ayanda Magoloza in 2 years. 2013 came and Moremi finished paying ilobolo to the Magoloza family.
On the 9th Nov. 2013 more than hundred friends and family members witnessed the best wedding of Ayanda & Nhlanhla at Kwanele Park, Katlehong.
The lovebirds’ union was blessed by Pastor Moema in front of both family elders. Nhlanhla’s mother expressed her love for Ayanda publicly which is a unique stance taken by any brave mother these days.

Today marks exactly 8 days since they were officially united in love.

Related links

2013 June 15: The Durban Lesbian Wedding of the Year

and

Lesbians Tie the Knot in Katlehong

When you’re in love nothing else really matters.
Just you and the person you’re in love with.

I’m in love with a wonderful soul, a wonderful woman.
I have been in love before, but never like this.
Could it be because it’s with a woman?
Maybe.
I believe I’m a very difficult person to love, sometimes I wonder how she does it.
I’m one stubborn woman who finds it hard to love and be patient to see it through. But ever since I started dating her, things have changed.

I have learned the art of loving, loving without reservation.
I have learned to be patient, to fight for what I love and believe in.

Just as in any relationship, there are fights, we also disagree and fight at times.
But through it all we never forget how we feel about each other.
The love we share compels us to find the way back to each other.
You know the thing about love is that it makes you free, free to be who you really are – NO PRETENCE!

When I’m with her I can be myself, without any fear, without fearing what she thinks of me.
She has taught me to be free in love, to love without boundaries.
As a woman in a lesbian relationship, I used to battle to love a woman OPENLY.
She helped me realised that love has no gender, what’s important is that you are in love.

People have mentioned to me that I am glowing, I look happy and younger they say.
There’s something about being in love that becomes contagious.
I have seen my daughter open up and fall in love with my partner.
I have also seen my family warming up to her and loving her like one of their own.
Even though they don’t understand that we’re in a relationship, they still love her.
They have also admitted that I have become lighter, happier and more approachable.
If love brings such happiness to someone, then who could deny them that?

Yes, love surely is a wonderful thing and I can safely say I’m ready for the next level!!!

It has been said that
“LOVE IS A MENTAL ILLNESS” – and I agree…
I AM MADLY IN LOVE WITH Phumla Rose Masuku.

© Buli Vimbelela
2013

About the author

Buli is a caring mother to her lovely daughter and a lover to her partner.
In this creative piece she declares her love for Rose.
There are so many beautiful women like her but always find it hard to express their love for the same gender publicly with fear of being discriminated against.

by Maureen Velile Majola

That night you made me stay up
so you can pour out your heart

When you reminded me of all my mistakes
When the age gap played it significant role again

The reminder
The constant reminder
That I MUST know my place

The silence in your speech
That said so much more than your words

I can never forget that night
You held my hand so tight
Looked me in the eyes
and told me “Uyisifebe wena”

All because I didn’t wanna do everything you told me
Because I refused to play by your rules
Because I wanted a lover and not a possible mother

The memory of that day lives
It breathes
It speaks to me

I can never forget the longest bus ride to Jhb from nowhere
I don’t wanna forget the look on your face
The grip of your hand
The words

The WORDS
The WORDS

They still play out in my head
I can hear your voice telling me I’m a “BITCH”
For loving you
Giving you my all
Staying with you even when I wanted to leave
Enduring all the pain
That came with loving you

Seeing you on your terms
Needing you
Wanting you
Missing you
Caring for you

Holding back
From loving others
Because I believed in YOU
I believed in US
That never existed

I can never forget
How you looked at my food
The meal I prepared out of love
and you just look at it and say
“Awukwazi ukupheka”

You always found a way to make me feel stupid
and feel like I needed you to hold my hand
As I beat that egg in a glass
Pour the oil in the pen
and try frying it
Just as you like it

Oh how my love
My endless effort
Was like pouring water on a duck

I don’t ever wanna go down that road again

I can’t let my SOUL go through this again

I will never let anyone make me feel like trash

When I know I am Gold.

Previous by Maureen

2013 Nov. 6: Moving On To Only Stay Behind

and

2013 Oct. 20: Deafened by my own ignorance

and

2013 Aug. 26: Just one day

and

2013 Aug. 6: My body as a subject of hate crime

and

2013 July 20: I’ve lived with her for years

and

2013 July 7: Trouble Soul
and

2013 June 21: The Princess of Norway pitched just for Muholi
and

2013 June 4: My Only Man

and

2013 May 16: Don’t touch ME!

and

2012 March 20: There’s a strawberry garden between your legs

Only 8 days more to go before D-day which is the 7th Dec. 2013

Please come support this initiative and check more details on Facebook should you wish to come on board with your skills and moolahs.
Twitter @MissGayLesbianSoweto.

Facebook: Miss Gay Lesbian Soweto 2013.

Photo Album by Akhona Hailele & Zanele Muholi/ Inkanyiso

When:  8th Nov. 2013

Where:  Uncle Tom Hall, Soweto

Who:  MCee’d by Yaya & Lebo

Organized by Tumi, Penny, Letebele, Fino...

Finals to be held on the 7th Dec. 2013

 
Related article

2013 Nov. 8: Miss Gay & Lesbian Soweto 2013 Semis video

Dear Friend,

If you are interested in reviewing QAR, kindly write to Sokari Ekine:
sokari@blacklooks.org
Thank you!

Words aren’t easy to come out
Words have a deeper meaning than we think
Never back down when you tell it
I found myself with a trick of telling the words

Words have a deeper meaning than we think
I laugh because words aren’t so easy
I found myself witha trick of telling the words
So I told the truth no one wanted

I laugh because words aren’t so easy
I started to talk on how I see things
So I told the truth no one wanted
I’ve found tricks in telling the words
Never back down when you tell it
Words aren’t so easy to come out

by Theo Masalaza

© 2013

About the author

My name is Theopatra Masalaza was born and raised in Khayelitsha, Cape Town in a family of six siblings. As a young child I was taught to be an independent person in life by my mom. It grew up with me daily, and today I can say that I was my own parent. Today I am a grown woman that is a known Fine Artist and a Ceramicist in my community. I found myself loving journalism, so through all the skills and talents that I have, I became an activist – solving problems and telling stories of our daily lives. I don’t tell just any stories, but stories that make people twice, and stories that will have an impact.

… the first special publication by Freegender

Words features in Rivers of Life book which is a compilation of black lesbian stories and poems. Recently launched by Freegender on the 30^th November 2013 in Cape Town.

Theopatra is one of the authors with Andiswa Any Gungxe, Aphiwe Mikana, Funeka Soldaat, Gcobisa Nogova, Pamella Mhlawuli, Sinoxolo Nqwenani, Siya Mcuta, Thozama Matabata, Velisa Jara, Vuyo Ndamase and Zandile Tose.

According to the statement provided by Freegender on introduction page, “The book shows untold stories of our lives in the face of overwhelming media representations of us as victims of hate crimes. Though this book reflects the reality of violence in our lives, we show that it does not define who we are.

Here we express the infinite richness and complexity of our lives because we are telling our own stories in our own words.”

To buy your copy or donate for future publications write to:
freegender2009@gmail.com

2013 Miss Gay Lesbian Soweto pageant

by Lerato Dumse

The Miss Gay and Lesbian Soweto pageant is an idea born in the year 2000 and was turned into an annual event, until 2006. Then the strain of using money from their pockets, due to lack of funding and sponsorship, forced organisers to stop hosting the beauty pageant.

However they refused to give up, and in 2012 the beauty pageant was resuscitated. On Saturday, 7th of December 2013, Soweto Theatre hosted the 9th Miss Gay and Lesbian Soweto.

Although they have upped the standard, even changing venues, their efforts were in vain as the event failed to pull the crowd.

Mpho Maqalika performing at the 2013 Miss Gay Lesbian Soweto

The event kicked off with a powerful poetry performance titled “unattainable soul” by Mpho “Poposki”. The poet also performed another poem titled “My complexion” which speaks of inner peace and not allowing other people’s expectations to lead us to self hatred. While Tumi Ndweni wowed the audience with a drag performance of Brenda Fassie’s Black president.

For their first appearance on stage, the contestants were wearing white, as a way of paying tribute to former President Nelson Mandela, as well as gays and lesbians who’ve been killed.

Labelz & Boiki, the best MCs in town…

Duo, Labelz and Boiki kept the audience entertained as MCs. The pair kept changing from one elegant outfit to another, and Labelz’ humor left people in stitches.

Eva Mofokeng leading the girls in swimwear

The swimwear category followed the tributes and was energetic and beautifully choreographed. The showstopper has to be the formal wear category, which saw contestants pull out all the stops.

The contestants impressed the audience and judges, by strutting their stuff: high heels, makeup, hairstyles and figure hugging dresses. While the lesbians looked handsome in suits, waistcoats, ties and bowties.

Once the “beauty” contest was wrapped up, the top five was selected and asked questions as a way of testing their “brains”. This section is often controversial and entertaining, and this pageant was no different.

Some of the questions asked included:

• When did Nelson Mandela die?
• What is the meaning of lgbti (the contestant quizzed failed to answer)?
• Who was the first black lesbian to come out in public and the media?
• What does the lgbti flag represent?
• What book are you currently reading?

This section resulted in some funny, smart, dull and unfortunately not so smart answers. After the second round of questions, it was time announce the top three.

Miss 2013 Gay Soweto: Nhlanhla ‘Fiona’ Thabatha, 1st Princess, Dimpho Tsotetsi and 2nd Princes Miss Tee Menu

The winners are:

Gays
Queen: Nhlanhla aka “Fiona” Thabatha
1st Princess: Dimpho Tsotetsi
2nd Princess: Miss Tee Menu

Vuvu in best red outfit impressed the audience and came the 2nd Prince…

Lesbians
King: Paballo Tholwana
1st Prince: Nini Moagi
2nd Prince: Vuvu Makubetse

All in all, the event was well organized and the contestants seemed prepared, the most disappointing part is that there was less audience than expected. We hope that the 2014 pageant will have positive vibe considering that we’ll be celebrating South African 20 Years of Democracy.

Women flaunting their all at recent 2013 Miss Gay Lesbian Soweto contest… Centred is Dimpho Tsotetsi who became the 1st Princess. Photos by Zanele Muholi (2013)

Previous by Lerato

Related articles

2013 Dec. 3: Gorgeous people at the Miss Gay Lesbian Soweto 2013 semis

and

2013 Sept. 15: Lack of SA Queer History knowledge at the Miss & Mr Gay Daveyton

and

 Jaw-dropping beauties at the Miss Gay Lesbian Soweto 2013 semi-finals

and

2013 Nov. 8: Miss Gay & Lesbian Soweto 2013 Semis video

Twitter @MissGayLesbianSoweto.

Facebook: Miss Gay Lesbian Soweto 2013.

Click here for more photos from the 2013 Miss Gay Lesbian Soweto finals.

Photo album by Zanele Muholi/Inkanyiso
When: (07/12/2013)
Where:  Soweto Theatre, Jabulani. Soweto. Johannesburg
What:  2013 Miss Gay Lesbian Soweto
Camera used: Canon 6d with 60mm and 85mm, f2.8 lens.

Previous article

2013 Dec. 8: Well organised beauty pageant with less audience

Eva Mofokeng leading the girls in swimwear

Tomiko Xaba preparing herself backstage

Vuvu in best red outfit impressed the audience and came the 1st Prince…

Miss 2013 Gay Soweto: Nhlanhla ‘Fiona’ Thabatha, 1st Princess, Dimpho Tsotetsi and 2nd Princes Miss Tee Menu

Photo album PART II to follow…

Seated in front of the late Maleshwane’s coffin is her uncle on the left and mother in the centre
© Photos by Charmain Carrol
(14 Dec. 2013)

Who: Maleshwane Emely Radebe

Identity: Black Lesbian

Born : 25th Aug. 1977

Murdered on: 7th Dec. 2013

Buried on: 14th Dec. 2013

Buried Where : Ekuthuleni Graveyard, Ext. 23

Residence: Ratanda, Johannesburg. South Africa

What: Sustained a stab wound and died on spot after being attacked alongside her girlfriend in their shack.
The girlfriend managed to escape and survived with stab wounds on her face, arm and thigh.

Survived by her mother, 3 nieces and 2 children born by the nieces.

Report/ article to follow on this recent incident.

Radebe’s family home where the night vigil took place on the 13th Dec. 2013

Nunu Sigasa shedding tears during the funeral service…

The mother mourning the sudden death of her daughter who was the sole breadwinner at home

Radebe’s uncle who spoke on behalf of the family

Friends and supporters who came to the funeral…

Maleshwane’s burial site at Ekuthuleni Graveyard in Ratanda

by Andiswa Dlamini

Words cannot describe my experience in Paris.
It honestly felt like I was part of a painting.
It felt surreal. It’s weird in life when we allow our dreams to expand to places and then when our dreams actually become real and travel into those places. It becomes a dream you don’t think you imagined (not sure whether that makes much sense). I enjoyed every moment and I thank all the things Nawo (the most amazing person) did and of course for opening her home to me for 2 weeks.
I was more than happy to see places that I have only ever heard about like the Bridge of locks, in which I left a lock on that bridge in hope that one day I shall go there with my partner.
I felt a bit over whelmed when I saw the pyramids of the Louvre, I mean I had learnt about them during my art days when I used to draw and it honestly was the most amazing thing ever and of course I got to see the Eiffel Tower. The Eiffel Tower is beautiful especially at night, when I stood right underneath it I was blown away thinking to myself wow am I really here.

There are so many people that I met, places that I went to and underground trains that I travelled on.  I would like to write about everything in great detail but maybe I shall write a monologue, my dedication to Paris. On the night of my performance I was really ready. I went to the back and I started to listen to some good deep house music. This reminded me of home and of course I used it to calm my nerves and just silence my thoughts. Nawo introduced me and before I go on stage I always say ‘Andy all you need to do is say the first line, once you say that line perfectly all will be well’.

I sat on the chair with the spotlight on me, and the audience giving me their attention. I began my first line “he said an African woman must have kids, must marry a male partner who will serve as the head of the family; this is the tradition he knew.”

Once I said that I was in my zone and uZanele was there clicking way taking still frames of a moment I would never have a chance to experience again. When I was done with my performance I remember having a moment of sadness because I had just achieved a dream and my Mother, Sister or my partner wasn’t there. My mother being such a supportive person in every/ anything I do. My mother was the person I consulted when I wrote the script, I needed to make sure that she understood why I had a video piece of myself half naked as part of the script. I needed her to understand each poem that I stitched into the script so that it created the perfect piece. I truly wished she was there.

I wished my sister was there because she inspires me, much like my partner who is the only person that truly makes me nervous when I have written a new script. I need her opinion because she’s that real, no sugar coating whatsoever. I was truly blessed when uZanele erased that sadness with her excitement. She gave me a piece of home, making me feel like my friends and family were there with me. uZanele was excited, it was also her first time actually seeing me perfom.  She had only read my work and I often used to think ukuthi uZanele supports passion it’s as if she knows what drives a person and gives them so much excitement.

The show was great.  So many people were too shy to come up to me and say something because of the language barrier but ke they eventually did come to speak to me simply saying “you were good’, “it was intense”, “very good” and honestly who needs anymore words.
I think just to know that I touched an audience with my words is enough because sometimes you can tell how you impacted someone just by looking at them.
Immediately the next day I started to think about new script ideas…
Ideas that will not only deal with intense issues such as “corrective rape” but ideas that deal with small issues because the more we produce work about our day to day lives.
The more the world might understand and see that we too have the same problems, even if it is something small like thinking that someone is out of your league and not being sure how to ask them out.

This is an issue I have written about in a script called ‘overthinking’ that I incorporated in ‘a part of me’ script that I performed in Paris.
It is a funny script and people relate to.  My heart was warm when I performed an extract of the ‘Overthinking’ script. People started to laugh because it means that I with all the issues that surround homosexuality we have so many moments where we just live, laugh and love.

Previous by Andiswa

2013 July 31: Contrast of love and hate



and

2013 July 3: Another fucked up case

and

2013 June 4: emotional confusion of a break-up

and

2013 May 16: Sex


and

2013 May 3: I resent you

and

2013 Feb. 10: Parts  

by Yaya Mavundla

Two days before the wedding (19/12/13) everyone at Inkanyiso is confused about when the wedding is.
Is it Saturday or Sunday, we contact a few people in Daveyton and NO one knows about the wedding.
Then we called Lesiba Mothibe (Uthingo Chairperson) who was also unsure.

“You are hereby Summoned to Appear as a Witness for the two Accused, Promise Meyer & Gift Samonne.
Charges: Falling in love.
Court: 607 Vivian Drive, Chris Hani Park, Daveyton.
Sentencing: 22nd December 2013, 14h00 for 14h30”

Promise & Gift sharing a kiss after photo shoot at O.R Tambo gardens, Wattville.
© Photos by Zanele Muholi

Need I say more?
All I can say is we had so much fun after reading the invitation.
We then started with task delegations and were looking forward to the wedding.
I of course had to worry about what to wear, but trust me I wasn’t the only one worried.

Sunday 22^nd Dec. 2013, at 11h30 we were ready to rock and roll. We drove to Daveyton with the team and got there around 12h00. At first we couldn’t find the venue, but eventually we got there after driving around.

“Who is getting married” was my first question when we got into the house.
I was confused; perhaps it was the environment, the setting. I didn’t get a clear indication of what was happening, who was doing what?

At around about 12h15 a very tall gay guy, light in complexion wearing a leopard print vest arrived while we were still chatting to the people who were busy decorating the tent for the wedding. “Hi, I’m sorry I’m late, things are hectic, thank you for coming” and that was Promise, the bride!

We sat next to the tent and asked him a few questions and you could just tell that he was under so much pressure, but I mean it’s his wedding day, its normal.

The honest truth is we were exhausted, we really wanted to see things starting to roll already. I will not lie, I was skeptical that things will be in place by 14h00 to start the programme as the person who was getting married was still busy with the dishes and cooking, basically all over the place, making sure that everything was in order. He eventually got dressed, but I wasn’t convinced that things would be ready by 14h00!

To my surprise, things were ready before 14h00.
I really loved the Kilt skirts, such a statement! The taxi that was confirmed to transport bridesmaids and groomsman to O.R Tambo Cultural Precinct for pictures didn’t pitch!
Luckily we came to the wedding with a taxi so things came together and were off to O.R Tambo.
The energy from everyone in the taxi was amazing, we partied so hard on the way and everyone was ready to pose like a cover girl.

When we got to the venue, the bride (Promise) directed everything very smoothly. It was his task to do so, as he was also the wedding planner.
As always, there will always be show stoppers and the ones that just don’t get it, like they would say on twitter #TheStruggleContinues, trust me that’s exactly what happened.  Some of the grooms men just didn’t get it, but then again, they are “butch” so we can forgive them.

While we are busy with the pictures, I had a chat with the bride, Promise Samonne-Meyer, I could tell that he was now a bit calm than he was when we were at the house earlier.
I asked him, what would you like to tell me about today’s experience?
He immediately responded “I am so happy knowing that everything is going on as planned, we are making history in Daveyton, we are the 1st Gay Couple to get married here” I was impressed.

Even when he was posing for pictures with his husband, you could tell that he was happy.

After wrapping up at the Precinct, we rushed back home. When we got there, boom, everything was ready and people were all over the place including curious neighbors.
The deco was stunning in red and white. I loved how they made everything look intimate.
Proceedings started immediately after everyone was seated in nice round tables of 10 seats.
Mini platters with samoosa’s, small pieces of fried chicken and onion rings were placed amongst glamorous cutlery, and of course a bottle of champagne.

Before the programme director, Eric Motsema even started with the programme people started helping themselves with the food.
Then the official opening of the ceremony started by prayer led by female Pastor Ndlovu.

The process got disturbed for a while because Promise had to connect with his ancestors, since both newly weds are sangomas (traditional healers).
Eventually things got back to the programme, the Pastor mentioned “njengoba nilalana anihlukanga ndawo, okwenzakalayo phakathi kwenu ningakukhipheli ngaphandle ngoba kuyohamba nomoya, uthando luyabekezela.”
After the Pastor finished preaching, family and friends began sharing their thoughts, wishes and experiences they had with the couple.

The most moving message came from the mother of the bride, Mrs Shezi who spoke so fondly about the couple and her son Promise.  She confirmed to everyone that she supports and gives the two her blessings.

She went as far as saying “angizange ngitshele muntu ngalomcimbi, abantu abaningi nje engibabona lana ng’yaqala ukubabona. Abanye ngike ngababona emagcwabeni. Anginandaba ukuthi abantu bathini, uPromise ngumntwana wami, ukuthi omunye umuntu uthini anginandaba.”

You could tell who was there to see where ‘will this end.’
And you could also tell who was there to support, as there was a minority that was very shied away and not even willing to turn their faces towards the cameras.

Promise’s mother receiving a gift from the son-in-law, Gift…

Towards the end, the couple shared their wedding vows, flittering and so excited.
With a beautiful smile, Mpho made it clear that he “will always be there for Promise to comfort, love, honour and cherish” him at all times.
He also promised to be a true and faithful partner.

While Promise said he will comfort his husband in times of sorrow and struggle, to cherish and always hold him in highest regards.
The couple decided to use double barrel surnames for their union.
Then the couple cut the cake and fed each other.

The guests were smitten, and then it was time to pop the champagne.

The guests were served with variety of food between rice, pap, chicken, beef, fish and a number of salads.
I spotted a lot of exciting people, some of them were the former Miss Gay Daveyton, Lesiba Mothibe, and dancer Xoli Ntsebeza to mention a few.

L-R: Xoli, Xolani, Lesiba, Yaya & Thembi

The atmosphere was just beautiful, you know when people are happy, and that’s exactly what was happening there.
Inkanyiso media were the official documenters of the whole event.
Some well dressed persons wanted to shine, forgetting that it was Mpho and Promise’s moment.  All in all we had a great time.

About the author

Yaya Mavundla (25) is a writer, cultural activist and events organizer.
Previously worked with Exit and Miss Gay Lesbian Soweto.
Currently contributes to Inkanyiso media.

PORTFOLIO I

by Ayanda Zulu

The late Mr Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela
will forever be remembered (2013)

I am honored to be amongst the artists who took time and passion to do a painting of one of the most respected icons of our time.

Manchester United (2012)

My best friend Nomfundo Goqo is a big fan of Manchester United and this was my way of expressing my love for her and how much I treasure our friendship. The flames represent that I will be there for her through thick and thin.

The moon (2012)

I was inspired by the moon and how it lights up the night. Each time I look at the moon it brings joy within me. So I thought, why not create a crazy piece of the moon with stars and flames to make it catchier.

Dora the explorer (2013)

This is one of my cutest paintings. I painted it in one of the pre-primary schools in Kwa-Zulu Natal, Durban in Folweni Township.

Timon and Pumba (2012)

These were my favorite cartoons from my childhood. I used to watch them all the time when I got home from school. They bring back a lot of good memories.

Ben 10 (2013)

This is my first art done on a high wall. This has taught me that I am capable of the impossible; through this experience I am now able to do anything positive without any fear.

Bio

Ayanda Zulu is a 24 year old artist who hails from Durban, Kwa-Zulu Natal.
A self- taught artist who has worked in and out of Kwa- Zulu Natal since 2011, doing graffiti, wall art and sign writing.
The young lesbian man has worked in Ulundi, Isipingo, Umlazi, Soweto and various other places. He is one of South Africa’s young passionate artists, utilizing his God given talent. Ayami multimedia is his art brand’s name and he is looking forward to bringing change in and out of Africa. He is currently contributing to Inkanyiso media.

by Jeremiah Sepotokele

On the 29th December 2013 was a day I would never forget. I had a lot of issues with my body for the longest time, and when the Inkanyiso team took to the task of photographing hot trans and effeminate gay men at the Durban North beach.
All of my internal insecurities resurfaced.

Beautiful girls posing for the pic.
L-R: Candice, Lesiba, ‘Miah, Sazi, Le, Aluta, Yaya, Mini, Christine and Melissa.
(c) Photos by Lindeka Qampi (2013)

The day before the shooting was amazing, picking my favourite yellow swim suit that really complemented my complexion was a challenge…  We walked around the Workshop in town with my colleagues holding shopping bags like we had all the money in the world.  I was excited having selected my beach gear but had shivering instances where I would think about the day that lies before me.

My journey with my weight has been quite an emotional rollercoaster and although I have grown to appreciate it dearly. Before I lost an enormous 20 kg of depressing fat, life was not the same when it came to my confidence. But this remains a topic for another day.

So on the day of the photo shoot all my girls got ready and I was not to be left behind. We did all the dressing up in the white Quantum taxi we came with. There was already the sisterhood explosion with everyone being of assistance to the other.
I was mostly embarrassed being coached to tuck my chunk by my adopted mother Lesiba AKA Queen Lee.

Having rocked up my swimwear that was oozing with colour, my confidence was just above room temperature.
Although our makeup artist didn’t pitch to complete our looks it wasn’t a train smash struus Bob!!!
My makeup was tiptop courtesy of her Majesty Madam Candice who flicked her kit and crafted a goddess out of ziltch.

L-R: Melissa Mbambo, Candice Nkosi & Yaya Mavundla

The first group photo was a good warm up, as the cold beach breeze was kissing my skin without fail. A great deal of hot chocolate would have helped with the zoooch to pave my way in front of the camera without effort. But hey a diva gotta do what a diva gotta do… Can I get an A-men?

We strutted our stuff, well coordinated poses that could give Naomi Campbell the run for her dollars.
Snap Snap Snap… the ladies were just above average, bonding with the waves like it was going out of fashion.
Talking about fashion, we really stepped up to the plate and licked it clean.
The finer details and accessories made every babe look regal in the kingdom of the roaring sea accompanied by questionable stop and stares.

I was completely blown away by the huge energy ball that rolled in between my girls. I was dealing with my insecurities at the midst of all the energetic commotion, and having to come out of my cocoon. My individual stills were as equally interesting and awks.
I might have thought that all the years of viewing Americas Next Top Model would come in handy considering Tyra Bank’s tutorials on the show.
Well my attempts to emulate her poses had me look like a lost asylum…
However, the crew and my sisters covered me with support and advised I unleash the sexy vixen that I caged.
Boy, I did just that without fear of scrutiny. I gave it all that crossed my mind although at some point one would have remarked: What the fuck???

This entire experience has taught me to question what beauty and perfection is.
Sweety, I can now say I am learning a lot about myself…
Beauty is very much socially constructed too.
I believed (at some point) that I was a delectable babe and as soon as it dawned on me
I just poured with seduction far better than average porn star would (this part is not for under 18).

This was indeed an experience of a lifetime and hey Jesus, Mohammed and Buddha and their bouncers know I would do this again best believe.
To all that made this day possible ke lerata ka love.

Previous by Jeremiah

2013 Dec. 17: Inconceivable Self-Love?

From L-R: … with Charmain Carrol, Malibongwe Swane, Me (Bathini), Mandisa Mkhize, Lee Siba Mothibe                                  & Lerato Dumse from Inkanyiso media

I said to Lerato, ‘Dude you’re not wet but dry and there is no wave…’  *lol

Bathini Dambuza (beautician, hairstylist, salon owner and cultural activist) at Durban North Beach
Photos by Zanele Muholi
© 31/12/2013

I Am… not Was.

There is nothing as good as in like being seen by old friends looking great and happy.
Mingling with friends (not fake ones) and also vacating are possible ways of getting rid of unnecessary tensions. I spent my last week in 2013 with my newly found queer family in Umlazi township, Durban. We visited several places e.g. the beach.

With that said…

Here I’m wearing my new swimsuit, letting go of all the bad energies I experienced in 2013.
The beach is known for cleansing. I’m starting my 2014 with lightness and brightness.
Wishing to meet new friends who are not bitter and angry like my previous. They know who they are no grudges attached.
If you know that you are femme, brilliant and kindhearted, please find me on facebook.
My name is Bathilox Dambuza.
I’m your friend not a foe.

Thanks!

Sfiso ‘Candice’ Nkosi, the chief mourner alongside family members at Vlakfontein cemetery…

Lesiba Mothibe reports,
Lindeka Qampi took photos

At 9pm I was already at home, tired from attending both the funeral and the after tears of Muntu Aubrey Masombuka.
As I took off my high laced heels divaliciously.
I realised  I had spent the whole day  in KwaThema.
This is the place I met Muntuza in 2002 (almost 12 years ago).
Ironically the after tears was hosted two streets away just before Mngadi street where a mutual friend of ours hooked me up with him.

The day started early in the morning and I arrived at 9am, just an hour after the service at the Assembly’s of God church commenced.
I looked classy with a floral skinny trouser that fitted well on my sexy booty and matched it with a lime blazer.
I knew that people will dress to kill …”excuse the pun.”
The Who’s Who of the LGBTIQA communities from different parts of Gauteng were there in big masses to bid farewell to Muntu.

A rarity, lesbian twins Siyanda & Luyanda Gumede came out stylishly to mourn a friend and fellow activist

They looked dazzling, I must say as I spotted a few butch lesbians in nice tailored suits  and  the drag queens wearing their sexy sassy dresses showing gorgeous legs.

As I walked towards Maphanga Street songs of the queer struggle welcomed my ears.  Comrades were chanting and singing their lungs out as a way of expressing their loss.
As I approached the entrance gay flags were raised high in the sky, winged from left to right.
Activists marched in and outside the church, while the service continued as if nothing was wrong.
I asked a friend who was there before me.
What was happening?
Why were the activists toyi  toying?

The friend replied and said ” the preacher is homophobic and they refused to give us a chance to  sing during the service…”

Sweeto Mahlatse, a dedicated activist from Vosloorus was at the forefront of this funeral like she did at the late Duduzile Zozo’s in July 2013

The March continued until they were ready to take Muntu to his final resting place.
A guard of honour was done for the  fallen activist who fought for the lgbtiqa human rights in Kwa Thema and beyond.

By the time I arrived at the cemetery with a friend, they were almost done with the burial. We waited 10 more minutes before they were done. We left for his home where they served us food.
I was starving like a dog.

Lot of people, limited plates … but the caterers managed to feed everyone

Throngs of friends, relatives and activists who attended the burial of Muntu Masombuka standing next to his grave site in Vlakfontein cemetery.

They were a lot of people who attended Muntu’s burial.
I met a few friends, ex friends, ex boyfriends and frienemys.
Muntu’s funeral brought people together.
It (re)connected relationships and helped others make new friends.
It reminded me of how colourful and stylish the South African black queer community is.

After we ate a message was passed around by one of the EPOC members that the after tears will be held at Thomas place.
The venue was in the same street but a few blocks down.
When I arrived there it was not inviting at all because I found people bored and with nothing to do.
Someone suggested we move to Mpumi’s place at Mdakana Street in Phomolo section.
When we arrived there most people were just sitting, cool R&B music was playing as others entered in bits and pieces. The party was about to begin, yuppie!!

We bought the first rounds of drinks, chilled and mingled, within an hour it was packed by funeral attendees and some who couldn’t make it earlier due to various commitments.
The place started to be more lively, the after tears began as the music changed from RnB to afro beats such as kwaito, house, old school dances songs etc.
The Rainbow community celebrated Muntuza Masombuka‘s life as jolly as he was.
His existence was the life of a party. The energy he expressed at many Gay Pride he attended.
He was a fun person who will be missed at the upcoming Gay parades, LGBTI meetings, community dialogues, parties etc.
His graceful presence was felt in every event he attended. In the 10 hours I was there and strongly believed his life was reflected.
If you didn’t know him, you would have had an idea what kind of a person Muntu was.

Portrait of the late Muntu Aubrey Masombuka
1981 – 2013
Undated photo from family album.

Rest In Peace Muntuza!
We will always remember you.

About the author

Lesiba Mothibe is a former beauty queen, activist, events organizer and Chairperson of Uthingo (LGBT organisation) in Daveyton.

Related articles

2014 Jan. 5: High Fashion at Muntuza’s funeral in KwaThema

and

 2013 Dec. 25: Christmas that was

Brenda Mvula’s partner, Koketso Matlaweng in black mourning the sudden passing of her beloved supported by her aunt in a black & white top.

Where:   Acts of God Christian Church, Midrand.
When:  9th Jan. 2014
Photos by Lindeka Qampi & Zanele Muholi

Opening remarks and tribute by Programme Director, Lethabo Hazel Matlala

Pastor Musso…

Mpho Nefuri relating of the good and trying times shared with Brenda…

Bibi King, FoC co-founder speaking at the memorial…

Steve Letsike, activist and Brenda’s friend talking about how Brenda used to emphasize on ‘lesbian empowerment and progress…’

Brenda’s spiritual friend, Pule Rampa could not hold tears… of losing a dearest friend

Nomagcina Shezi, Brenda’s buddy shedding tears…

Philile Shoba, a friend who drove all the way from Durban to attend the memorial service

Nomthandazo Mankazana in a khaki dress, a facebook friend who never met Brenda in person but came to support…

Jessica represing FEW and Iranti

Nolwazi, a neighbor narrating of the times she spent with Brenda

The portrait of the late Brenda Mvula
with a beautiful smile… Gone too soon.

Devastated by the loss of a friend, Thandi Mkwinana who grew up with Brenda Mvula could not even speak for two minutes…

Pule Rampa closed the memorial with a special prayer

Matilda Maroga, giving vote of thanks to all those who supported Mvula family and partner Koketso Matlaweng

Obituary of the late Brenda Nonceba Mvula

Nonceba Brenda Mvula was born on the 2^nd July 1980 in Rietfontein-KwaRhadebe village, Sterkspruit, Eastern Cape.

During her childhood Nonceba stayed with her grandmother. She started schooling at Monwabisi Primary School and attended her secondary classes at St Mary’s Christian Boarding School in Umtata and finished high education at Wapenaar School.

At 19, she moved to Bloemfontein where she lived alone at first and later was joined by her sister.
She worked for Primi Piatti restaurant while studying for her Matric at Fame College.
She later moved to Johannesburg and continued working at Primi.
She received mentorship from Australians who taught her the ropes of life, business and the importance of education.  After completing Matric, she furthered her education and advanced to obtain a Masters of Commerce in Project Management.

She worked at Gestalt Consultant as a Project Manager and later joined the Department of Housing in 2008 – 2010 still holding the same position.
She returned home in 2012 where she spent the last months of her life.
Due to illness, she returned to Pretoria to receive medical treatment and unfortunately was called by her Creator on the 2^nd January 2014 while in hospital.
Nonceba was a strong believer in God.
She prayed with and for her friends wherever possible.
She was also a sister and mentor to many.
Nonceba is survived by her daughter, both parents, 2 sisters, 2 brothers and partner Koketso Matlaweng.

Sithi lala ngoxolo, ulufezile ugqatso!!!
Rhadebe – Bhungane – Mthikhulu
Mashiy’amahle, amade njengawenyamazane
Mafuz’afulele, njengelifulemvula
Ndebenhle zombini ezikhanyilanga
Zikode – Siba olude – Hlubi elihle
Nzipho zimnyama ngokuqhwayana!
Mashwabada, owashabadela inkomo kanyenezimpondo zayo
Ngelengele… aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

The funeral service of Brenda Mvula will be held at 09h00 on  11th January 2014 in Sterkspruit, KwaRhadebe village, Eastern Cape.